We Are The Morgans

so i'm sitting here eating my "day off" pb&j (what's the difference between a "day off" pb&j and any other pb&j you might ask? take it easy there friend, not until i know you better...) and something magical happened. i got the never before seen (by me) triple decker oreo. yes 3 cookies and one layer of cream. for some of you, i know, this may seem more of a waste than a gift from God himself. but for someone like me who has recently come to appreciate the cookie more than the cream, well you can imagine just how happy i am and why i needed to let the internet know.

WARNING: hospital talk below

2 weeks in Parkland's ER and here are some of my favorite chief complaints (brief summaries written by nurses on the chart):

• "groin pain" - a perennial favorite.
• "there's a snake in my back" - a schizophrenic trying to describe what turned out to be a dissecting thoracic aortic aneurysm. lucky we caught it.
• "it feels like there is something in my rectum" - again, another one to make you excited about seeing a patient.
• "skin ulcers" - a 50 year old skin popper with absolutely no flesh on her left forearm or thigh because the needles she uses are dirty and a raging infection had eaten it away.
• "peeing from scrotum" - 71 year old with abscess draining so much, that's what he thought was going on down there for the last 3 months. yes, 3 months. and he decided to treat it by smoking crack. yes, crack.

yes, i am officially living the dream...now i'm gonna eat my special oreo.